Keeping Vigil Part I -- Into the Dark

"Into the Dark" (2/15/02)

in my dream
we fill a room
two dozen of us
eight candidates for initiation
and for each of us
two mentors -- proud we have come this far and
hopeful what they've taught us
can take us further tonight
when we will travel alone

we twenty-four open the circle
raise the spirit
fill the room with blessings
soon we eight will have need of that juice
for courage and perseverance and
the sharp edge of intellect
to cut our way through
our mental bindings

we twenty-four sing
we twenty-four dance
we twenty-four gather tight
in collective soul-hug
silent, knowing the moment has come

we divide into eight threes
mentor-candidate-mentor
share a few blessing moments
then part
they to await our hopeful return
we eight to go delving deep
then find our hopeful way back

the house has a back porch and
the back porch perches on a cliff
leading down down to darkness and
silent solitude

we eight gather our packs with last
glances, nods, smiles at
they who readied us for this
then step to the edge
each of us grabbing our own rope
leading down down to darkness and
silent solitude and
stepping off the railing
we rappel down

we eight can spy each other in the blackness
around us for a moment or two as we push off
the wall in front and let the rope play out
between our hands

the darkness grows heavy
near-palpable and
we eight lose sight of each other
as we continue down each of us
into the same canyon below each of us
to our own canyon entire each of us
our own trial our
own path

finally my feet strike the canyon floor
in the dark I didn't see it coming up at me
my eyes begin to adjust to the Stygian black
but it will be some time before I can find my way
find my way forward to
find my way back

I recall one mentor's advice to
Be Fierce
and the other's advice to
Open Your Heart
and
balancing the two
I step into the dark